11 Canadian Stereotypes, Eh
by Justa Little Puppy
Summary: Self explanatory title is self explanatory. Alfred is visiting his dear brother to the north, and gets to experience some of the many stereotypes (perpetuated by him, of course) that is Canada.


**Puppy's Post It: Arf! Hello peeps! This is just a random little stereotypes list, more than likely made completely by our dear Alfred, I wanted to do aboot (XD) Canada! It also has some stereotypical examples, so prepare thyself c: Sorry aboot (XDD *shot* ok lemme stop) any mistakes though! I'm kinda tired as of now so I haven't looked over it as much as I'd like... ah well. This is just for me to procrastinate my other stories anyway, but I'd appreciate any reviews! Arf arf, I give reviewers doggy biscuits. Or cookies. Whatever makes you humans read my babbles u3u**

**Disclaimer: I dun own Hetalia (CUZ LIFE IS CRUEL), and stereotypes don't necessarily belong to anyone, but most of them I found online, some from Hetalia itself and some from friends :3**

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1._ Canadians say 'eh' after every sentence. _

"This curling game is great, eh? ...C'mon, Alfred, you know you're enjoying it, eh? I already promised we'll watch a basketball game next."

Alfred promptly broke out of his sulk to stare incredulously at his brother.

"...What, eh?"

Alfred slowly leaned back against the chair and resumed feeling bored and sorry for himself.

_2\. Canadians love moose and ride polar bears._

"So the moose and the polar bears just... Roam around freely? Everywhere?"

"Yeah! Aren't they majestic?" Matthew's eyes sparkled.

The American just sighed and pushed away a moose trying to chomp Nantucket. Again.

"Anyway, where d'ya wanna go first?"

Alfred clutched one hand in his brother's shirt and the other in Kumajirou's fur, wondering how his brother planned on them getting around on the little creature.

"Let's just go deeper in the wilderness and look at more moose, bro. I know you want to."

Ah, Al knew him so well.

_3\. Canadians don't like fighting..._

"Mattie we can't just let those guys get away with breaking your glasses! Lets teach'em a lesson!"

"But it was an acci-"

"Who cares! They were smiling about it! Stupid drunks deserve to get their butts kicked!"

"I could always ask for an apology later..."

"Screw that! Violence is the way to go in these situations!"

"Vio... Violin?"

"...Violence, dude."

That's a word he hadn't heard in a while.

"Oh. Well, violence isn't the answer to everything! Can't we just try to be friends with them, eh?"

"...Bro. How are we related?"

_4\. ...Unless its hockey..._

"WHAT?! THEY _LOST?!_"

Alfred whimpered in a corner while Matthew and his fellow drunk, pissy Canucks stormed onto the hockey rink to apparently murder the losing team.

_5\. Canadians say 'aboot' instead of 'about'_

"Wow, Alfred, I don't normally see you reading. What's the book aboot?"

Alfred looked up from his manga and raised an eyebrow.

"A boot?"

"Yeah, what's it aboot?"

"...A... Boot?"

"Yes. Aboot, Al, what's the book you're reading aboot."

"'Wh...What, my book is a boot?' No. No, it's a book."

"What're you–, ugh, Alfred, just tell me what your book is aboot please?"

"...But I... I don't...What?"

_6\. Canadians are extremely polite; to a fault_

"Please give me all your money!"

"O-Ok. I only have $55 on me though, sorry."

"Thats alright, its good enough. Now please give me your watch, too."

"Sure, but it was a gift from my papa, eh..."

"Really? Now I'd feel just terrible taking it. Please, by all means, keep it!"

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome. May I have your phone though?"

"Go ahead, friend, take it."

"Thank you! I have to go now, sorry aboot this!"

"It's alright! Have a good day!"

Alfred stared.

"...Was that supposed to be a robbery?"

"Yeah. Please call the police."

(There was no need, since the theif returned the stuff he stole not 5 minutes later and apologized profusely. And gave them $50 to 'pay for damages'. And washed their car... And made them poutine.)

_7\. Canadians are secretly jealous of America because of its popularity _

"Im awesome dude! I'm so big and cool and, ya know, awesome!"

"Actually, Im bigger than you." Poker face.

"Er. Yeah, geographically or whatever, but Im still awesome! We've got baseball and basketball–"

"I invented basketball." Poker face.

...Did Mattie just cut him off? He literally never did that. "I-I know, but I still have baseball! I also have awesome health care–"

"I have free health care. I also made insulin, the zipper, the telephone, the radio and SO much more all by MY people; And ya know what? Weed is legal! Gay marriage is allowed EVERYWHERE. Just, just tell me, why is everyone talkin' aboot YOU America?! Why does everyone care aboot you and forget about me; the second biggest country, who doesn't constantly throw myself into wars and get in everyone's business?!" Matthew's eyes narrowed, and he found it difficult to breath after the aggressive rant. Maybe this wasn't the best time to spout his pent up frustration at being invisible, but...

"...Justin Beiber."

_Shit._ "...Touché..."

_8\. Canada has lumberjacks. Lumberjacks everywhere._

"Timber!"

"Tim~beeerrr!"

"Tiiiiiiiiiiima-beeeeeerrrrrrrr!"

"TIMMMMMBEEEEEERRRR!"

"...Say Mattie, why're they cutting down those maple trees?"

"Well we use them for log cabins during the one month of summer here when the igloos melt– W-wait, maple trees?!"

_9\. It's always snowing in Canada_

"G-geez, M-M-Mattie. H-How do you l-live like this? Its c-cold a-as balls here. Seriously. I literally can't f-feel my b-balls right now."

Matthew politely waited a couple feet ahead in the knee deep fluff for his brother to catch up.

"That's what we have toques for, eh?"

Alfred just huffed and wondered why he hadn't made testicle mittens instead.

_10\. Canadians are obsessed with maple syrup_

"What was on that, eh...?" Matthew asked shakily, having just spit out the condiment soaked pancakes Alfred'd given him.

"Syrup, dude! What's your problem?"

"No... No, that wasn't syrup..."

"Yeah it was. It's Aunt Jemima."

"Who?"

"Aunt Jemima? The brand? It's called corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, water, some other ingredients I don't think I can pronounce... Basically artificial sy-"

"K-KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

Alfred actually had to set the rest of breakfast on fire to calm his brother.

_11\. Canadians are boring_

"How's your day been going bro?"

"Not all that good, eh. You see, I woke up this morning, took a shower, brushed my teeth and-"

"Mine sucked! I got up today and I just new it'd be a bad morning especially because I didn't take a shower cuz I saw this centipede crawling all around the tub. It was soooo gross, with all those legs and shit."

"Uh, y-yeah. So anyway, I went to make some pancakes–"

"So you know what I did? I went to war on that centipede dude; I got bug spray, a fly swatter, a shoe, I even got my gun bro no joke, and I just started spraying at it. But it turns out it wasn't even a centipede, it was some really weird crusty roach, and that thing could fly!"

"Um... Wow. That's really interesting, Al. But like I was saying, I went to make them, but there was no more flou–"

"So I started shooting at that little 'bugger'! Heheh, you see what I did there, going Arthur on you? Anyway it was going all over the place, and I didn't wanna poison myself spraying the whole house, so I kept on trying to blow its stupid bug guts all over the place cuz it was gross as a mofo but all it did was make me blow holes in all my things. And I might've demolished that jacket you left at my house that one time, but trust me man, that bug was all over that thing; you wouldn't have wanted it back."

Matthew sighed. Why did he even try?

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**Puppy's Post It: Well that's done, arf~ Sorry, any Canadians, I love you guys but I thought it would be fun to write this :3 It's just for laughs, though! I mean, it's not often you see a stereotypes list aboot (XD *shot* sorry couldn't resist) _Canada_ :,3 *is paranoid she'll get hit over the head with a hockey stick in her sleep* Ugggh. Please, review, but no one set their polar bears on me ;P Hope you enjoyed~! **


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